Tag Archives: Parenting

December 6, 2024 · 6:26 pm

Legacy of Transformation: 7 Lessons from the Life of Omar Zia

Taha Ghayyur

Not very often do we come across people who live a life of significance that its ripples of impact inspire others to rise to their greatest potential. Such was the life of Br. Omar Zia, a trailblazing educator, mentor, and leader who devoted his life to making a positive difference in the world.

“How will you make a positive impact today?”

This powerful question wasn’t just part of Br. Omar Zia’s email signature; it was his daily mantra, a guiding star that shaped every interaction, decision, and effort he undertook. His unwavering commitment to this ethos is a legacy that challenges us all to live with intention, purpose, and an indomitable spirit of service.

On December 4, 2024, Br. Omar Zia returned to his beloved Allah, the Creator and Lord of the worlds, at the age of 49. Indeed, to Him we belong, to Him alone we return.  He leaves behind a grieving wife, two daughters, two brothers, and parents, along with thousands of beneficiaries of his knowledge, advice, wisdom, and time.

Education Leader

Br. Omar Zia’s 25-year professional journey was a testament to his dedication to education and social justice. As a principal with the Peel District School Board and a part-time instructor at Queen’s University, he was more than a leader—he was a beacon of hope for students, teachers, and families alike. He championed equity and inclusion, actively working to dismantle Islamophobia, systemic racism, and colonial practices in education. His work was a reminder that true leadership involves challenging the status quo to build a better, fairer world for all.

Servant Leader

Outside of his professional work hours, he served on the council for the Muslim Educators Network of Ontario and chaired the Muslim Employees Association of Peel. He was also engaged in community programs supporting Muslim-identifying youth and spoke at conferences on topics like equity, anti-Islamophobia, character development, and faith.

In the Muslim community, Br. Omar Zia was known for his structured classes and Halaqas for Muslim youth, which hundreds of young Muslims in the greater Toronto area benefited from. In every school that he worked, Br. Omar was the go to leader and counselor for Muslim students, whether it involved career guidance, Friday prayer accommodation, navigating bullying, family counselling, or matters of faith.  

Parenting Educator

Br. Omar Zia pioneered the Muslim parenting program in Canada, which included a series of workshops for Muslim parents that were inspired by Islamic teachings and grounded in science and best parenting practices. Parenting education was perhaps Br. Omar’s most unique contribution, which made him a sought after presenter at Masjids and Muslim conferences.  He would also deliver Khutbahs (sermons) on Fridays at schools or at Masjids. There is perhaps hardly a community in the greater Toronto area that has not benefited from his engaging educational offerings.

Not-for-Profit Leader

For several years, Br. Omar Zia also diligently served on the board of DawaNet, a community development organization that runs impactful projects such as TorontoMuslims.com, Canada Zakat, Understanding Islam Academy, and MuslimFest. It was at Understanding Islam Academy that he found a home for his signature workshops and trainings for youth and parents alike for over 15 years.  He also served as a mentor, leadership trainer, and motivational speaker for 300 plus MuslimFest volunteers annually over the years. 

Lover of Family

Above all these accomplishments and accolades, Br. Omar Zia was a lover of his beautiful family. He was intentional about investing time and training in his two daughters. To him, spending quality time with his wife, children, parents, and siblings was not optional. He believed and preached that parenting and Tarbiyyah cannot be delegated to others. He was an advocate of homeschooling and proudly homeschooled their daughters for several years. He was an exemplary father, husband, and son.  

Irreplaceable Friend and Mentor

Canadian Muslims have lost an irreplaceable mentor, counselor, and a master educator.

I had the honour of knowing Br. Omar Zia for at least 20 years, Alhamdulillah, as he came into my life as a mentor in my early university years. Growing up, I hardly had such “big brother” figures, until I came to know people like him. Over the years we crossed paths in several community spaces. Like countless youth, parents, and leaders in the community, he became my go to person for many personal and community life situations you can imagine: career advice, parenting counseling, workshops on family, youth, and parenting issues, navigating challenges in public schools, marriage officiations, and staff training, to name a few.

Br. Omar was a man of interesting contracts, which made him unforgettable. He had a commanding presence, yet was super gentle. He used to speak at the speed of light, but took a lot of time to listen to people. He was hard on principles, but soft on people. 

Here are a few comments I recently heard from Br. Omar’s beloved friends and students:

“He was a legend.”
“He was an unconditional giver.”
“I can’t get his contagious smile out of mind.”
“He was the equivalent of Shk. Muhammad Al-Sharif for me.”
“He was my go-to for everything.”
“He is leaving behind big shoes for our community to fill.”
“I learned the best parenting practices from Br. Omar 10 years ago, which I still practice today.”
“I didn’t experience this much grief and a sense of loss at my own brother’s death, as I have today with Br. Omar’s departure.”

Lessons from a Life Well-Lived

As I reflect on the life and legacy of this exceptionally beautiful human being and hear multitudes of grieving friends and beneficiaries, here are seven lessons that Br. Omar Zia has left as a legacy for us to practice:

1. Integrity Above All

Br. Omar Zia exemplified unwavering honesty and principled leadership in his personal, professional, and community roles. He was the same Br. Omar at home as he was in the Masjid. He was the same leader in a public school as he was in the Muslim community. He didn’t pretend to be a celebrity, nor was he a shallow influencer. He rarely posted his content online, nor did he post selfies on social media. He cared about his integrity more than his reputation, in a world where  people are obsessed with building their brand, status and followers, at the expense of their character (Khuluq). It is this paramount quality that won the hearts and trust of thousands of lives he touched over the years.

2. Humility as Strength

Br. Omar’s humility shone through in his approach to teaching and mentorship. Despite his knowledge and research, he was approachable and genuinely interested in learning from others. He possessed amazing listening skills. He prioritized collaboration and focusing on collective success rather than individual recognition. His humility allowed him to connect deeply with his students and community members. Prophet Muhammad, peace be upon him, said: “…No one humbles himself for the sake of Allah but that Allah raises him in status” (Muslim # 6254). Allah chooses such humble leaders to be elevated in this life and the next.

3. Consistency Compounds

Known for his dependability, Br. Omar Zia dedicated himself to every role he took on, whether as an educator, mentor, or community leader. I was intrigued by his discipline to consistently teach and counsel people day in and day out regardless of apparent or immediate outcomes. He taught us that positive change requires sustained, intentional effort over time.  This is the Barakah (blessing) factor, which is not always quantifiable, and which is something Allah gifts only to His select servants. He lived the Hadith of the Prophet, peace be upon him, “….The most beloved of deeds to Allah are the most regular and consistent, even if it were little” (Bukhari # 6464).

4. Generosity of Spirit

Br. Omar was profoundly generous with his time, knowledge, and energy. He devoted himself to empowering youth, supporting families, and mentoring colleagues. His acts of service stemmed from a genuine desire to help others thrive. He possessed an “abundance mindset”. He never held back on sharing advice, or resources, or his presentation decks. I still have links and resources he shared with me 10 years ago. He never felt threatened by sharing with others his proprietary content. He was a river, not a reservoir.  When I think of his spirit of generosity, I am reminded of the Prophet’s saying: “The generous one is near to Allah, near to Paradise, near to the people, and far from the Hellfire. The miserly one is far from Allah, far from Paradise, far from the people, and near to the Hellfire. An ignorant generous person is more beloved to Allah Almighty than a stingy scholar” (Tirmidhī # 1961).

5. Commitment to Growth

Br. Omar Zia believed in the transformative power of education and personal development. He believed in everyone’s capacity to grow to one’s God-given potential. His growth mindset encouraged individuals and communities to embrace lifelong learning and self-improvement. His innovative programs, inspired by both faith and best practices, highlighted the importance of evolving to meet changing needs while staying true to core values. To the Muslim community, he introduced the idea that in order for us to deal with our family and parenting challenges, we need to LEARN new skills and grow out of our bad habits, both of which are teachable. He showed us that change begins within. It starts with personal growth, which is directly related to the Islamic concept of Tarbiyyah (moral training) and Tazkiyyah (spiritual development).

6. Teaching vs. Soundbites

Real transformation requires real commitment to learning Islam. It requires investing in the foundations of your faith, without which your faith would be insecure. Br. Omar Zia was an avid proponent of teaching and learning that was grounded in Islamic tradition and academic rigour. He believed in teaching people substance, not airing soundbites on social media. His approach to learning was more personal and structured, that was not dependent on the celebrity status of the giver of knowledge. He empowered his students with tools and resources so they could not only change their own lives, but the lives of others as well. I can’t recall how many times Br. Omar would pause to explain to his workshop attendees a teaching method or a pedagogy that he was using in the class. He believed in training the trainers, including everyday students and parents. This is a trait of a truly transformative leader.

7. Sense of Urgency & Productivity

Working with Br. Omar Zia, I always found a sense of urgency in making a positive impact and a meaningful contribution, which defined his life’s mission. He understood the value of Prophet’s words and acted accordingly: “There are two blessings which many people waste: health and free time” (Bukhari # 6412). I always wondered how some great leaders and scholars had a brief presence in this world, yet their impact outlived them for generations, including Imam Ibn Qayyim al-Jawziyya, Imam Yahya Bin Sharaf Al-Nawawi, Imam Fakhruddin Ar-Razi, and the legendary el-Hajj Malik el-Shabazz Malcolm X, to name a few. Br. Omar’s intentional living teaches us that you may live a short life, but you can choose to leave a legacy that lives on.

I wish I had the opportunity to learn more from Br. Omar, but the lessons that his legacy taught me are timeless.

A Call to Action

Br. Omar Zia’s life was a powerful reminder that one person, driven by faith and purpose, can change the lives of thousands. His journey challenges us to ask ourselves:

  • How will I make a positive impact today?
  • How can I serve others with humility and generosity?
  • What steps can I take to grow into the best version of myself?

Let Br. Omar Zia’s story inspire us to rise above complacency, to act with courage and conviction, and to dedicate our lives to causes greater than ourselves. 

May His Light Continue to Shine

As we grieve and heal from this sudden departure of the beloved, we should be relieved that Br. Omar Zia is in a better place today and in better Hands today Insha Allah.

May Allah grant him eternal peace in Jannatul Firdaws, Ameen.

May Allah count him among the Saaliheen, Saadiqeen, and Saabireen, Ameen

May Allah grant his beloved wife, children, parents, and siblings Sabrun Jameel upon this tragic separation, Ameen.

May Allah count every lecture he gave, every Khutbah he delivered, every Nasiha (advice) he offered, every youth he saved from misguidance or destruction, every parent he counseled, every community member he consoled, every soul he touched, a source of Sadaqah Jariyah (perpetual charity) for him, Ameen.

Photo Credits: @MuslimFest @DawaNet @BigT @ImamRefaatMohamed

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October 10, 2011 · 5:36 am

Six Homeschooling Myths

By Shehnaz Toorawa

Parents often consider homeschooling but are held back by beliefs and concerns that, although valid, are usually false. Here are common myths about homeschooling: Continue reading →

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October 10, 2011 · 5:20 am

Freedom from School? 10 Reasons Why Families Homeschool

By Shehnaz Toorawa

As the new school year begins, more than 80,000 children in Canada will not enter a school building3. What motivates these parents who remove their children from the long-standing, and sometimes free, school system and educate their children themselves? Consider the ten reasons that follow.

Many families choose to homeschool their children because they want to: Continue reading →

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January 28, 2008 · 5:58 am

Seven Strategies to Train Kids this Ramadan

By Shehnaz Toorawa 

The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said, “No father has given a greater gift to his children than good moral training.” (Tirmidhi)

The many aspects of Ramadan—fasting, prayers, moral values, charity, Qur’an, family, `Eid—provide a valuable opportunity to train kids. Whether they are your own kids or kids you teach, education or training isn’t an automatic or easy process. Children don’t bring empty minds and fill them with what we say. Training requires effort, energy, and a few techniques to take off.

Here are some training tips and techniques to transform your children’s minds and memories this Ramadan:

(1) Let them get their Hands Dirty

“The great aim of education is not knowledge, but action.” Herbert Spencer

Children learn by “doing.” On average, students retain 75% of a lesson when they learn through hands-on activities compared to 5% through a lecture or 10% through reading (Brunmer, Jerome).

If, for example, you want to teach your kids the concept of zakah, get them to help you calculate your zakah, decide where to send the money, and mail the envelopes. Action and implementation can occur while children learn, not necessarily after!

The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) used to bring his grandchildren Hassan and Hussein to the mosque as toddlers before they knew how to pray.

A concept becomes real and important to children when they experience it rather than simply read about it. They’ll remember how to do it years later when you may catch them telling their friends “I’ve been calculating zakah since I was a kid!”

(2) Involve their Emotions

When children get emotionally involved in an activity, they rarely want to leave it. Video games and TV shows target children’s emotions. As parents and educators, we can use the same technique for training.

Stories, songs, skits, crafts, and games grab children’s emotions. Once a child is interested and excited, they’re more likely to stay attentive till the end and get the message you want to give. Just as we remember events in our lives that were emotionally significant, children remember concepts learned through activities that were “fun,” “funny,” “exciting,” or “different.”

Don’t be afraid to stir some fun into your training—you don’t have to lose any content. Write a song about `Eid, create a Hadith treasure box, organize a Ramadan trivia night, or read a story about Ramadan in Madinah. If the kids enjoy it, they’ll come back for more!

(3) Reveal the Purpose

We often hear students complain, “why do we have to do this?” or “this math exercise is pointless.” Unfortunately, we often hear responses like “because I’m telling you to,” or “because you have to,” or worse, “you’ll get a new CD player if you finish the book.”

Like us, if children don’t see the purpose or importance of an action, they won’t have the motivation to complete it. To avoid getting similar comments from your kids about prayer or fasting, make sure they understand the purpose. Before you begin any lesson, whether it’s a story about the companions of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him)or an `Eid craft, explain exactly why you are the doing the activity and what benefits the children will gain from it.

Remind your children that they are doing acts of worship to please Allah, not you. Explain why we need to please Allah and how every action, including washing dishes or math homework, will help us achieve that goal. If children are praying only to please you, when you leave, their motivation and prayers will disappear.

If children are motivated to fast Ramadan or complete the Qur’an for a material incentive (like a CD player), they may never develop a love of Allah or an intrinsic desire to perform the action. They may, instead, learn to value material rewards and when the rewards disappear, the actions may disappear with them.

Help your children understand that for Muslims, rewards don’t necessarily always come in this life. They may have to wait for the bigger and better rewards of the hereafter.

(4) Highlight the Big Ideas

“Education is what remains after one has forgotten everything he learned in school.” Albert Einstein

Ask yourself how many equations or formulas you remember from your Grade 12 math textbook. It may be five, two, or none. Let’s be honest—most of us retained very little of the details we learned.

Children will not retain all the fiqh rulings of zakah, wudu’, or Salah, and they won’t need to! Make sure the little that they retain is exactly what you want them to remember. Focus on the big ideas, such as the awareness that Allah is watching us, that we get our rulings from the Qur’an and the Sunnah, that Prayer is a means of self-purification, etc. Repeat these ideas every day in different ways. While your children instil these principles in their minds, show them how to learn the rest on their own when they need it.

Help your kids learn “how to learn.” Teach them where to find the fiqh information they need or how to research a topic and who to ask for information. They will be better prepared if they master the basics and know how to get the specifics. Memorizing every ruling will be a waste of their time and yours.

(5) Let them Lead!

 Children often take responsibilities more seriously than adults. The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) appointed Usamah ibn Zaid who was a young boy at the time, as commander of the Muslim army although many older and more experienced companions were present. The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) trusted Usamah’s capability for the position.

Give children leadership over important tasks and step out of the picture. Assign one child to wake up all his siblings for suhur. Let someone else be in charge of updating the iftar time every evening. Allow the children to plan, budget, and buy `Eid gifts for all the relatives. Let them choose which task they want to be in charge of.

Allow children to make mistakes and realize on their own what they should have done. Experience often trains better than instruction. Once a child goes out into the cold without a jacket, he’ll remember, before you can remind him, to put on his jacket next time.

Train kids to be responsible for their own learning. If a child asks, “Does brushing teeth break my fast?” a simple “yes” or “no” may give them the answer, but it won’t provide any long-term training. Ask them instead, “Where can you look to find that answer? Let’s do some research.”

Begin the month of Ramadan by asking your children to do a research project on what breaks the fast and what does not. If they find the information themselves, they are likely to remember it and know exactly where to get it again next year.

“The only person who is educated is the one who has learned how to learn and change.” Carl Rogers

(6) Get Excited!

“Education is not the filling of a pail, but the lighting of a fire.” W. B. Yeats

Kids catch on to your enthusiasm. Show some excitement and passion about the topic you’re teaching. Show your kids that you can’t wait for Ramadan to begin. Be cheerful at Prayer times. Decorate the house in anticipation of `Eid.

The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) taught by example. His character and actions motivated people to love and emulate him. Be the example you want your kids to be. Make a genuine effort to love the activities you want your kids to love.

7) Combine Love with Learning

The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) would greet children warmly by hugging them, kissing them and picking them up.

Abu Huraira reported that al-Aqra’ b. Habis saw the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) kissing Hasan. He said “I have ten children, but I have never kissed any one of them,” whereupon Allah’s Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him) said: He who does not show mercy (towards his children), no mercy would be shown to him. (Muslim)

Show children that you love them, regardless of how they perform. Allow each child to progress at their own pace. Saying, “look at your cousin Aminah! She’s already finished the 15th Juz,” will only lower your child’s self-esteem and discourage what she’s already accomplishing.

Excessive competition and comparison can often result in helplessness and lack of motivation for children who learn in different ways or at a slower pace. Allow children to judge their own progress and compare themselves to their former level rather than that of others.

Make this Ramadan the beginning of a memorable and long-lasting training experience for you and your children!

Sources:

Bruner, Jerome S. The Process of Education. Cambridge, Mass: Harvard University Press, 1977.

Published on IslamOnline.net and SoundVision.com

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April 23, 2007 · 4:31 am

Ten Reasons to Take your Kids for a Walk this Summer

By Shehnaz Toorawa

As the days lengthen and the weather warms, parents search for halal ways to keep their children amused. Along with trips to amusement parks, swimming lessons, and barbeque parties, consider a simple walk in the neighbourhood park or conservation area.

With a little creativity, your kids can gain numerous benefits from a walk in the forest.

Grab the opportunity for your kids to:

1- Do some hands-on science. Touch and observe things around you and talk about them. Pick up an acorn and ask your kids, “What’s inside?” and “How does it get there?”. Discuss the “green stuff” growing on a rock, see if you notice signs of succession, or ask your kids why the leaves are green in summer. Let your children’s natural curiosity guide the learning. You don’t have to know all the answers. Take some samples home for further experiments, research, or ‘show and tell’.

2- Remember Allah. Ask your children who created the things around them. Encourage them to point out signs of Allah’s existence and to praise Allah when they see something that amazes them. Remind them of ayahs in the Quran about nature like:

Behold! in the creation of the heavens and the earth; in the alternation of the night and the day; in the sailing of the ships through the ocean for the profit of mankind; in the rain which Allah Sends down from the skies, and the life which He gives therewith to an earth that is dead; in the beasts of all kinds that He scatters through the earth; in the change of the winds, and the clouds which they Trail like their slaves between the sky and the earth;- (Here) indeed are Signs for a people that are wise. (2:164)

3- Get some exercise. Children often spend their day in stationary activities like television, video games, and internet. A walk gives them physical exercise to refresh their mind and bodies.

4- Appreciate art and beauty. Comment on the natural beauty in Allah’s creation. Reflect on the colours, contrasts and lines you see in nature. If art interests your kids, encourage them to paint or photograph the scenes.

5- Learn to conserve. Ask your kids how the resources they see benefit us and how we harm them. Remind them of their responsibility towards the environment, as the Prophet, peace by upon him, said, “The world is green and beautiful and God has appointed you as His stewards over it. He sees how you acquit yourselves…” (Muslim). Brainstorm ways you and your kids can change your lifestyle to protect these resources.

6- Identify species and sounds. Pick up reference books from the library and help your kids identify the trees, flowers and birds you see. Learn the names of local birds and animals and count how many you spot.

7- Start a collection. Children love to collect. Find something that interests your kids—leaves, wildflowers, insects, pebbles—and help them collect, label and display their project. Show them how to collect without damaging nature.

8- Strengthen your bond. Talk about school, work, friends, and future plans as you walk. The time you spend on weekly walks will strengthen your relationship with your kids.

9- Clear their mind and lungs. You and your kids will appreciate fresh air and a peaceful break after a busy day indoors.

10- Pick up navigation skills. Take a map and compass on your walk. Plan a route together, follow it on the map and learn how to use a compass as you go.

Originally Published on IslamOnline.net

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